Words Hurt

I am a little sad right now… I never wanted to write on my blog about sad or unhappy things. I wanted a bright, shiny blog that when people came to it, they thought wow, what a life! Because I really feel like I do have quite a life.
But the reason I am sad right now is that I expressed an opinion on a social media site that I felt strongly about, one that I felt strongly enough to write about on my blog in the post The Truth About Pet Stores, and someone that I had listed as a “friend” called me a truly offensive name. I mean they really used foul language.
This was a person that I had always been nice too, I had given their wife clothes, never said a mean thing to even though I didn’t always agree with their opinions. I was truly stunned. What hurt even more is that they wrote this in a very public place where everyone else I know could see. And, as if it could not get any better, this person is the son of one of my closest friends.
What does a person do with that?
My husband being the chivalrous man that he is called my friend because I was so distraught and spoke with her about it, she was obviously mortified. She told him she was going to speak with her son who in all fairness is an adult. That is where the conversation ended. She has never said a word to me about it. I have deleted the son and his wife from my list of contacts. I don’t go to my friend’s house when they are there.  Obviously I am not going to get in the way of family. But I honestly thought she would have said something to me. Our friendship will heal, but I don’t know if it will be the same.
Words hurt… and all it took was two words from this person to bring me to tears and make me question friendships and delete people from my life.

19 comments:

Magpie Shinies said...

I think I read that before it was removed - even I almost got involved - and I'm just a follower.

As far as the bad or serious stuff - it's your life, your blog, and 100% up to you. I mentioned in a comment on another blog today that the blogs that seem 100% perfect make me feel cruddy and inadequate. Plus, I regularly bog about my cancer on MagpieShinies. I was embarrassed about it at first, but it is a huge part of my life.

When you put something out there that is controversial, you will get people who disagree with you, HOWEVER there is NO EXCUSE AT ALL to be mean and viscous.

I would bet you that your friend isn't angry, but embarrased, and likely thinks you don't want her as a friend b/c you aren't showing up at the places she goes to. Your friendship may not be the same if you revive it, but it may be better. You never will know unless you try. Write her a note & invitation to lunch. Look at photos of you guys having fun together.

Not a Perfect Mom said...

I'm sorry...words hurt, no matter how old we get...
and I honestly think your friend just may be embarrassed for her child and is just wishing everything away...
that being said...I do think you should reach out to her and question her on why she never said anything, if anything, you'll get some closure...
HUGS!!
and btw..I stay away from happy shiny perfect blogs that make me feel like the worst mom ever...be true...

Jessica said...

Words DO hurt and people are jerks. I think that people lose sight that there are real people with real feelings behind these computer screens so they feel they have the right to act completely rude. I personally would just continue to stay away from them. I agree that your friend is probably embarrassed that her son would do that.

Children Teaching Mama said...

I just read the other post and don't know what else was said, but I completely agree with it. We always adopt our pets from a shelter and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Anyways, people don't realize how much words really can hurt you. My guess is the mother is just trying to stay out of the argument to maintain the peace. Maybe the son is one of those types of people who would get mad at her and not let the grandkids visit as payback or something equally as horrible. I know it feels like she just abandoned you and didn't stick up for you, though, but maybe there is more to it. My mom actually did something similar with me and didn't stick up for me. It really hurt my feelings.

I'm sorry all of this has happened. I think it is bound to happen to you as a blogger at some point or another. I had something happen recently, too, that really altered the way I viewed blogging and other bloggers. It's sad that you have to deal with such negative people sometimes, but it's just bound to happen. At least we meet some great people and friends in the meantime.

My Heart Blogged said...

I didn't read the comment but I read your post. We always get our animals from shelters, or take them if someone is going to bring them to one. Maybe they have pets who are from breeders, are friends or family of breeders, etc. While it doesn't excuse a rude comment, you never know why someone lashes out. Or they could just be rude.
My Heart Blogged

Denise said...

Hello! I'm just passing through. Yes words do hurt.
Have a great day!
My Blog Thanks, Denise

Dawn said...

Unfortunately this world is full of mean people...it's so hard to just brush stuff off, especially things that hurt so much. I hope you feel better soon.

I am your newest follower, please follow back =)

http://dawn-wemaynothaveitalltogether.blogspot.com/

Real Life In A Minute said...

Sorry you were subject to this abuse and glad your husband spoke up. I have extremely opinionated family members (left and right) politically and religously...so I just choose to keep my little mouth shut. It's not that I'm not standing up for what I believe but I know someone would take it the wrong way. It will heal in time. Sandra (following)

terrid614 said...

awww sorry about those unkind words. i have had people say mean things behind my back and even as an adult it still hurts. i guess just hold your head high and move on. you told your friend how you felt and at least i am quite sure it was conveyed back to their son. i would just try to let it go( easier said then done, believe me i know)....we are ALL entitled to our opinions! unfortunately this person does not realize that and was mean spirited to call you a highly offensive name. he needs to grow up!!!
btw, found your blog from social trendy moms!!!

terrid614 said...

anna~i didnt realize we WERE practically next door neighbors!! lol..stay warm!!!

tawna6988 said...

Blog hopping today and am your newest follower. I hope that 1 of my blogs interests you too.

http://tawnasplan.blogspot.com
http://btrbb.blogspot.com
http://tawnassecret.blogspot.com

I also do a weekend blog hop, you can link up on tawnasplan.blogspot.com open every Friday-Sunday!
Thanks
Tawna

Jennifer @lifecraftsandwhatever said...

I'm following you back :) And as I said in my post. People suck. Plain and simple.

And you have a bearded dragon????? I want one! We have three crested geckos, I love reptiles.

Keep your chin up.

Laura-A Goddess of Frugality said...

Following you back. Thanks for the follow:)

Laura
www.agoddessoffrugality.com

Debra Ann Elliott said...

First let me say thanks for stopping by my blog and following. I'm following back. Second, I know where you are coming from a few months ago my oldest son published some very hateful and hurtful things about me on FB. Words do hurt and even more so in a public venue.

Frances said...

Following you back :) I hope the situation from this post gets better!

Emme said...

Following you back from The Kid Can Cook - thanks for stopping by!
And read your post - sometimes I think Social Media is a pandora's box. A friend posted on facebook recently that she had had to do something similar. It's not easy!

Kara said...

My mother taught me that when facing critism, I should always consider the source, and since this guy thought it OK to insult you publically, it just goes to show what sort of person he is. In other words - his opinion doesn't count. You did a good deed defending helpless animals. Be proud of yourself.

Christine said...

I'm so sorry. What a terrible thing. I had a similar situation last year and I still have a tough time thinking about it. It colors a lot of what I do, even though I try not to let it.

Brooke Anna @ Mommy Does... said...

Anna, oh my! I actually read the post you made and it made so much sense and I agreed on so many points. I have not been checking updates this weekend since B just got home. However I completely agree with Jess and so many others who commented above. Word hurt, and this is a reason why B has not wanted me to get a FB or Twitter.
I broke down and got a FB today for the sole purpose of blogging. Only for networking. My heart goes out to you. Trash in trash out, right?
Here's to the upcoming ABE! Maybe that will bring you come happiness. I'm so ready for it! I just registered, so here is to us!